Do not universalize blame

Do not universalize blame

This always happens. In the aftermath of tragedy, we look for someone to blame. If we can, we blame the victim. What was Sharon Tate doing with all those people in her house when her husband was out of town? Why would an intelligent woman ever jog through Central Park after dark? Why was Nicole Simpson with Ron Goldman anyway? Blame insulates us from tragedy. Blame gives us a kind of control…

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Women's history day by day

Women's history day by day

If you're feeling a little overwhelmed because Christmas is four days away and you've been shopping and wrapping and writing cards forever and you still have more to do - stockings to stuff, cookies to bake, more gifts to buy, plus a dinner to plan and cook - take a break. Head to your nearest bookstore and grab a copy of Lois Edgerly's "Women's Words, Women's Stories." You won't have time to read it until after the holiday, of course, but that's OK. It's meant to be read then…

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Two women, one friendship

I have come to know Julia slowly, a young woman whose husband died of cystic fibrosis a few months before their son Jeffrey was born. After his death, the priest at our parish spoke of Julia's faith and courage. But she was a stranger then. I had no idea she was my mother-in-law’s next door neighbor. It was after that day in church that my mother-in-law began mentioning Julia, but I didn’t connect the dots. I didn’t realize that the priest’s Julia and my mother-in-law’s Julia were one and the same. Because Julia, then, was just a name…

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What's Really Eating Molly? A Laundry List of Complaints

She eats things. Not just ordinary dog things like newspapers and Coke cans and gardening tools, which she pilfers from the garage. Not just brooms and rakes and speaker wire and toilet paper and paper towels. Molly's preference is cotton - woven or unwoven, plain or printed, new or old. It doesn't matter. She's into all kinds. Dustcloths and facecloths. Cloths that you use to

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Taking time to remember a good man for all seasons

It was sudden. A small heart attack had been a warning, doctors said. Slow down. Take it easy. His wife was to pick him up and drive him home from the hospital late on a Saturday morning. He died before she arrived.

I knew him only a short time, for a few years as my boyfriend's father, for a few years as my father-in-law. I never called him by his first name. I was too young and he was too old for that informality…

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Giving condoms to kids is taking the easy, irresponsible way out

There were two of them, one about 9, the other 11 or 12. Brothers seeing a baseball game. They sat in front of us, beside their parents in a front row. They were nasty kids, poking at each other, spilling their drinks, yelling insults at the players, throwing their candy, getting ice cream all over the place.

When they got their Cokes, they put them on the wall in front of them. An usher came along and told them food wasn't allowed there. The 9-year-old put his Coke right back where he had it seconds after the usher walked away. His parents looked and said nothing. When the usher returned and told the kid once again to move his Coke, his mother just rolled her eyes.

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Roots and Wings

Roots and Wings

Dottie Scott took the framed print off her wall and gave it to me the summer before my first child was going off to college. "There are two things you give your children. One is roots, the other is wings.” I hung this saying in my office, above my desk, so I've been forced to think about it regularly over the years. Roots have never been a problem for me. They have been easy to give. Wings, on the other hand, continue to elude…

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Crowning the Virgin Mary

It never lost its magic the way most things do. You get older, you look up close and you see the strings on puppets, cards up the trickster's sleeve. Childhood pleasures seldom stand up to adult scrutiny. Except every once in a while, the magic lingers, and a long-awaited moment doesn't disappoint.

When my friend Beth was in fifth grade, she prayed for the one thing she wanted more than anything in the world to crown the…

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Spring shadows seem longer

Spring shadows seem longer

I find myself lingering over the travel section in newspapers these days, dreaming of all the places I'd like to visit, pausing at photographs of breaking waves and sandy beaches and gardens in bloom, stopping to reread sentences like, "In parks and plazas, Boston wrings pleasure from longer, warmer days." "Wrings pleasure." It's a nice image, an interesting juxtaposition of words.

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Amy cartwheeled through life

Amy cartwheeled through life

Another year passes, another begins. Amy died 10 years ago today, in her mother's arms, struggling to stay alive even at the end. Every breath meant another few minutes of everything she knew, everyone she loved.' I want you to come with me,' she whispered to her mother as death approached. 'I wish I could, sweetie,' her mother said holding her, holding to her. 'But this is something you have to do …

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Bruin’s Fan Skates on Thin Ice

Normally, he is like Henry Higgins an 'ordinary man, even-tempered and good-natured whom you'd never hear complain, who has the milk of human kindness by the quart in every vein.' But let the Bruins in his life . . .

And my husband becomes a wild man. Here's a guy who is generally unflappable. We miss a plane to Lincoln, Neb., because someone read the ticket wrong and he actually says, 'Hey. What's the big deal. We'll fly to Omaha and rent a car. It'll be an adventure…

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