Are Celebrities Really Role Models?

September, 2011

My role models, “long ago in the last century,” as my grandson loves to say, were saints and movie stars. Joan of Arc and Debbie Reynolds topped on my list because they both suffered pain and hardship, one for the love of God, (Joan of Arc was burned at the stake) the other for the love of a great singer. (“Any Time” is a really fantastic song but Debbie Reynolds was burned by this man.)  

Pain and hardship? I couldn’t wait to grow up and suffer.

Today’s role models are more likely to be sinners than saints. And suffering is long out of date. But movie stars and and how they live—well, who doesn't get a little starry-eyed by it. That hasn’t changed since Mary Pickford lit up the silent screen.  

Kids today, though, may be more influenced by celebrities than at any other time in history. Celebrity news is non stop. “Watch Matt Lauer & Ellen Degeneres Prank Hoda & Kathy Lee,” “Kim Kardashian and Kanye West Are Ready For Baby No. 2," "Selena Gomez Breaks Up With Justin Bieber—Again!” Follow us on Twitter! Like us on Facebook!

It’s 24/7 what celebrities are doing and where they are going and who they are dating. And kids keep up with it all via their smartphones and social media accounts. Of course young girls want to dress and talk and be like these young celebrities. 

When push comes to shove, though, are these who our grandchildren most admire? When you ask your daughter or niece or granddaughter, or the 14-year-old next door, “Who is your hero? Whose life inspires you? Who would you most like to grow up to be. And why?,” what is the name they say? I was curious about this—maybe it was Miley Cyrus twerking on the MTV Video Music Awards that pushed me over the edge. So I decided to ask some girls who I know. And guess what? Miley Cyrus isn’t the name on their lips. Or Demi Lovato, or any of the other beautiful, popular people on the covers of magazines. Here's a sampling of what I heard the girls say about their role models:

“My hero is definitely my mother,”  says 15-year-old Stephanie D. “I mean I admire some authors and celebrities, but to me a hero and role model is someone who inspires you to be a better person. My mother is a high school assistant principal and she has done so much for me and other kids my age.”

Becca M, an 18-year-old college freshman calls her mother her hero, too. “I grew up in a divorced family. Commuting between households was hard and visits to my dads became more and more scarce. My mom, through all the problems that she had to face alone, remained by my side. She is my mentor, best friend, and my guardian angel. She’s taught me that it is life’s challenges that make us stronger.”

Teenager Brianna D. says, “I think a hero is someone who puts others before themselves. Most people have heroes like Oprah or a musician, but my sister is my hero.” Her sister is in the Air Force and she’s also Brianna’s cheerleading coach. “All the girls on the team look up to her because she puts her heart into everything she does. I am very lucky that I can call her MY sister.”

In the small town of Medfield, Massachusetts, dozens of teenagers and young adults would name Chuck and Maureen Palermo as their heroes. The Palermo’s three children died within four years of each other, at age 18 and 15 and 24, of complications due to cystic fibrosis. The Palermos still get up every day. They go to work. They help their family. They help their friends. They love the children in their lives, their nieces and nephews and great nieces and nephews, even their children’s friends.  

They are role models to many. 

Our culture is far more than pretty movie stars and our young people know this. They know the value of parents who work hard and take care of them, of teachers who say, “You can,” instead of “You can’t.” Of sibling and aunts and uncles and friends who are always there for them. “My riding instructor is my hero. A thousand words couldn’t say how thankful I am for her,” says Tegan F. another 15-year-old. 

Movie stars entertain. But it’s the everyday people in our kids' and grandkids' lives who inspire. 

We may be worried that there are no real role models for girls these days. But in the every day world in which our kids live, there are.