Pop music heroes teach teens that talent doesn't count

The Boston Herald

This is not a big thing. Unfortunately it's just a small sign of the times. If you don't listen to rock music or watch MTV, either voluntarily because you're insane or involuntarily because you have kids, then you don't even know this is going on. All the screaming and crotch-grabbing have passed you by.

It would have passed me by if a.) I hadn't watched Madonna's world tour last year, which I chalked up as intentional outrageousness, and b.) I hadn't watched "Arsenio Hall" last week.

I watched Arsenio only because Luke Perry was a scheduled guest and my daughter loves Luke Perry, who plays Dylan on "Beverly Hills 90210," a very popular and compelling made-for-teen-agers show.

Anyway, Arsenio was saving his trump card for last and keeping Perry in the wings, while he filled his hour slot first with Donnie Wahlberg, a.k.a. a New Kid on the Block, followed by the first appearance ever of Wahlberg's kid brother, Marky Mark and his group the Funky Bunch.

I grew up watching Frankie Avalon and Fabian so I tried to be fair to Marky Mark. The ability to sing has never been a prerequisite in the recording industry. But the kid's arrogance was definitely hard to take. There he was, this shirtless, crotch-grabbing, no-talent young man, screaming out indecipherable words to some ridiculous rap song while the talented people, the dancers and woman who sang the catchy refrain, were relegated to the stage behind him.

Still, I would have forgotten his pathetic performance, if Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch's "Good Vibrations" hadn't also been named the most-wanted video on MTV.

Not that this is of paramount importance to me. But it is important to kids who love this stuff, who dance to all the popular songs and memorize all the popular videos, whose world is molded by what they see on TV, who have been so taken with Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch that they've requested their video more than any other.

It's a nice piece of film, actually, shot in black and white, edited to give it a fast pace, entertaining and definitely provocative. In fact, it's so well done that you hardly notice that Marky Mark is superfluous, even though he is the purported "star."

His forte is his ability to talk and grab his crotch at the same time. And that is all he does, except hit a punching bag a few times and wind up in bed with a gorgeous girl who straddles his body and has sex with him while his supporting cast of dozens cavorts to the frenzied beat of "It's such a good vibration. It's such a sweet sensation."

This is the music of the '90s, you see. If you don't like it, don't watch it. Turn the channel. Shut off the TV.

These are the rules.

Now I realize that there are far more outrageous videos than Marky Mark's and the Funky Bunch, and that there are probably even less talented young singers somewhere in the world, though this would be hard to prove.

But Marky Mark's exhibitionism and hedonism, combined with his embarrassing lack of ability to either sing or dance, make me angry, not just because there are so many talented unknowns waiting for their big professional break, but because young kids are so influenced by the dreck that is passing for quality today.

Why, is what I want to know. Why Marky Mark and not someone who can actually sing? Why has so much effort been put into packaging nothing? Why isn't the real singer of "Good Vibrations," Lolita Holloway, spotlighted and acclaimed?

This kid is just a flash in the pan. He won't last. Few entertainers, even the talented ones, do. But the message he's giving will. And the message is not just that sex is a let's-do-it-cuz-it-feels-good-thing, but that cockiness, arrogance and power are the real aphrodisiacs, and ability and talent don't count at all.