There are people who reach out to others just because

The Boston Herald

There are people who reach out to others just because

There she is, not his wife, not his daughter, not any blood relation, caring for him, cleaning his house, shopping for his food, taking him back and forth to the doctor, then to the hospital, giving him time she doesn't have. She has two young children and works two jobs.

But she does all this not because she has to, but because she wants to. Because he is old and can't do some things for himself anymore, because he is sick, because he needs her. And because she loves him.

There he is, old himself, too old to be driving hours to visit a sick friend for just five minutes, to hold the hand of a man who has been unconscious for weeks. He could just as easily write or phone. Or he could do nothing. He has the excuse of age.

But he goes anyway, not because he has to, but because he wants to. Because the man in the bed is his friend, a person he loves, and a two-hour drive is an act of love, not an obligation.

There she is at the post office on a hot August Saturday.

"You've been busy writing letters, I see?"

"To all my old students," she says and then explains how, in the school system where she teaches, all fourth graders are transferred to a middle school and how frightening an experience this can be.

So she writes them all letters and encloses a gift certificate for an ice cream cone. "I want to do something to make them feel good about themselves," she explains.

She does this not because she had to - the school didn't pay for this mailing - but because she wants to. Because she cares about those kids.

I could go on. I could tell you about Anne who, last winter, at the beginning of the Gulf war, when she wanted to be home with her husband and son, flew to Florida instead to comfort her dying stepmother, a woman she hadn't seen in years, who suddenly needed her.

I could tell you about Praxie, a woman in her late 70s, who acts 20, who is always doing something for someone - cooking, cleaning, listening, supporting, continually giving - at a time when she could legitimately sit around and get.

I could tell you about dozens of good, kind, caring people who are quietly doing what needs to be done.

Even young people are doing what needs to be done. A group of teen-agers from St. Gerard's in Canton spent the summer helping others. They aren't the only civic-minded teen-agers around, but these are the kids I know, the ones in my town. This group is twinned with a group in Finglas, Ireland, and all summer long, the two worked together making a difference in a lot of people's lives.

When the Irish kids came to Canton for three weeks, they worked beside their American friends. For a week they visited seniors at their homes and in nursing homes. They cut lawns and ran errands and did what they were asked to do. The second week they worked at the Mass Hospital School volunteering their services there. The third week they planned and ran a kids camp, a one-week program free to any child in the town.

They didn't have to do any of this. There are thousands of exchange programs in which young people visit a country and do all the fun things. But the thing is, these kids were having fun. They did what they did, not because they had to, but because they wanted to help.

That's what it's all about, helping each other. You read the paper every day and you get the feeling that everyone hates everyone, that nobody cares a whit about anyone but himself.

But that's not true. People do care. You know people who care. You know lots of them. Think about them for a while.

Dwell on them, instead of all the bad that gets too much of our attention day after day after day.