A light dusting of snow seems to bring out quite a few flakes

The Boston Herald

Beverly Beckham

God forbid that Conolrad alert is ever for real. Barely a dusting of snow, and civilization as we know it caved Thursday morning. The ground was hardly wet when traffic skidded to a stop.

I think we've all gone soft. I counted four abandoned cars on a four-mile stretch of Interstate 95 before 9 a.m. You could see the white lines on the road, there was that little snow. And you could see for a mile. This was not a whiteout. This was snow, pretty white crystals falling from the sky, not fallout from a nuclear bomb.

So what exactly was the problem?

Either sunbirds sneaked into this state when we weren't looking and commandeered our cars, or we have completely forgotten the fundamentals of winter driving. What other explanation is there for what was total turmoil over a New England staple?

It took two hours to get anywhere during the morning commute. Every road leading to or from anywhere was packed with idling cars.

Why? Because commuters woke up Thursday, looked out their windows, saw snow and sighed. And that was that. They didn't go into snow mode. They didn't change their attitude or the way they drive.

They got in their cars, turned on the ignition, stepped on the gas, cut into traffic and slid into trees, rolled backward, tailgated and smashed into whatever was in front of them.

And ran out of gas.

A review of the fundamentals of driving in the snow is paramount this morning. Three-hundred and three days without any and look at us? We lost it.

We flunked Snowstorm 101. Here then is a brief reminder of everything we used to know about driving in the snow but seem to have forgotten:

Remove the snow from the windows of your car. This is pretty basic but note the use of the plural "windows." Scraping one oval spot at eye level is not, no matter what you think, snow removal. You need to clean the entire window, and all the windows, the rear one included, plus headlights and tail lights and side mirrors. Believe it or not, it comes in handy when you're driving to be able to see where you're going.

Check your gas gauge. If it's even a hair below the half mark, do not even think about getting on any highway, no matter that it's only 10 miles to work and you do this every day. This isn't every day. If you get on a highway and run out of gas, you should be run out of town. End of story.

Leave your aggression at home. (Exception: If someone runs out of gas and abandons his car and causes a massive traffic jam on Interstate 95 and you're stuck in it, aggression is not only warranted; it's justified.) In all other cases, chill. Unless you can sprout wings and fly, you are going to be in more traffic than usual. Listen to the radio and the traffic reports and take comfort in the fact that a whole lot of other people are stuck in traffic, too.

Pick a lane and stay in it. Don't be a jerk and hog two lanes or cut in and out of lanes.

Do not tailgate. It's annoying most days and dangerous on snow days.

In the event of a skid, whatever you do, don't let go of the steering wheel. Why do people do this? Steer in the direction of the slide.

Merge. Now there's a word. Merge means to ease into traffic. A person is supposed to merge entering and exiting highways, not hit the brake and slam-stop causing everyone behind him to slam-stop, too. Slam-stoppers are a menace on all days but on snow days when stopping on a dime isn't a challenge but an impossibility, they are hazards.

Important fact: You have to be in forward to go up a hill. A car cannot make it up an incline if you've got your foot on the brake. Drive up an incline. Put your foot on the gas and keep it there. That way, the people behind you will be able to get up the hill too and not go slip sliding back down the hill. Physics 101.

Do not, under any circumstance, ride a bicycle in a snowstorm. (Note to the guy on Route 138 yesterday: Are you nuts?) Do not walk in the middle of the road. Cars have enough trouble not hitting one another, never mind a pedestrian. Can you say "sitting duck?"

Finally, don't drive if you can't drive in the white stuff. Take the bus, the train or take a sick day and enjoy yourself instead of ending up taking a real sick day after you wrap the family car around a tree.