Putting our trust in God is a healthy choice

The Boston Herald

Beverly Beckham

"Is Religion Good Medicine?" is the question on Newsweek's cover. "God and Health." Is there a connection?

Some experts say yes. Some say no. Prayer works. Prayer doesn't.

In the end, the article says nothing new. But that's no surprise. We pray for the big things. We want the miracle. "Ask and you shall receive." And when we ask and don't get exactly what we beg for, we think, it didn't work. My prayers weren't answered.

"Why science is starting to believe," Newsweek's cover teases as if science has a secret to share. As if all you need to make it through a serious illness or a difficult time are the right words and the right intonation.

"Can one extra prayer mean the difference between life and death? Can prayer be dosed, the way medicines are? Does harder praying mean better treatment by God?" Newsweek asks.

My granddaughter was born in June with three holes in her heart and doctors said if the holes didn't close on their own, (they do, sometimes) she would need surgery. We prayed hard for the holes to close. I took Lucy to church and to a healing service and I asked people I hardly knew to keep her in their prayers.

I was certain that prayer would heal her.

But the holes remained.

When she was 2 months old she had open-heart surgery. We prayed then for it to go well, though the doctors said not to worry. We worried anyway. We prayed there would be no complications.

But there were.

So, were our prayers unheard? Does God not listen? Is prayer a waste of breath? Or worse, is God an invention born of desperate times?

The day Lucy was operated on, a group of women from St. Gerard's in Canton prayed for her. I didn't know about this until recently. "We heard that morning that she was having her operation so we all prayed," one of them told me a few weeks ago.

Lucy essentially died during her surgery. Her aorta was nicked and she bled, then her body temperature was lowered and her organs shut down while the surgeon made some needed repairs.

And when it was over and the surgery finished, it wasn't over. Because there is more surgery to come.

And yet, I believe our prayers were answered. We prayed for the holes in her heart to close and we prayed for no complications. But what we were really praying for was for God to watch over Lucy and to take care of her - and us.

And that's what happened. Lucy is here and so are we. And, yes, we've got some challenges ahead. But everybody's life is full of challenges and detours and unexpected bumps in the road. But the fact is, too, that life is also, every minute of it, full of answered prayers.

It's a prayer answered that there are machines that can detect holes in a baby's heart. It's a prayer answered that there are men and women who choose to become doctors instead of CEOs. It's a prayer answered that people care enough to pray for one another.

All prayers are answered - in time. And sometimes in ways we don't see.

Newsweek attempts to measure prayers' effectiveness by polls and medical research. "People who regularly attend church have a 25 percent reduction in mortality - that is, they live longer - than people who are not churchgoers. Using brain scans, researchers have discovered that meditation can change brain activity and improve immune response."

But prayer isn't something you do to reap its benefits. It isn't a mental exercise, any more than it's a litany of "I wants" and "I needs." Or a "Give me this and give me that."

Prayer is a dialogue. You pray and then you listen. And as in all conversation, sometimes you hear things you don't want to hear.

In Christian churches the perfect prayer is this: "Thy will be done." Not my will, but your will, God.

Prayer isn't a cure-all. It's not like an antibiotic that you take three times a day and 10 days later you're better. Prayer doesn't take away a disease or a problem.

But it lessens fear. It's hard to trust that God knows best because we think we know best. We know what we want and what we need.

But our prayers tell God we really don't. By praying we hand over control. And if people who attend church regularly live longer and have less stress, this is the real reason why.