All they ask is: a little respect
/The Boston Herald
BEVERLY BECKHAM
All they're looking for is courtesy. An acknowledgment that they exist. A polite word. A smile.
"A smile is a frown turned upside down,' went the lyric of a somewhat hokey old song.
Well, hokey or not, the phrase needs resurrecting.
Something needs to be done to make everyday encounters between strangers a little more pleasant.
According to my mail, people are fed up with the treatment they receive from clerks, waitresses, ticket takers, telephone solicitors, and people in the public service business.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about poor service in department stores, grocery stores and restaurants, and readers responded with their own horror tales.
One man wrote about how he has resorted to taking Prozac, an anti-depressant, to cope with rude behavior.
A woman related her encounter with a surly cashier at a Shaw's in Woonsocket, R.I.
One writer who prefered to remain anonymous enclosed a meaningful essay that management everywhere should read, post and memorize. "Remember Me?" is the name of the piece, penned by another unknown:
People just aren't as nice as they used to be, and even when you're paying for service, you're lucky to get it. That's what readers told me.
But from readers who do serve the public, the complaints are similar.
A bartender wrote about customers who snap their fingers to get his attention. "I'm not a dog. I have a name. I take the time to introduce myself. My name's on my shirt. I'd like a little respect, too."
A waitress told about people who don't understand "that we don't cook the food, and we don't make the drinks. But when they're late, we get blamed. A woman screamed in my face once because her meal was late. I apologized. I went to the manager and got her a free meal. She left me a nickel tip."
"I work at a toll booth and deal with thousands of people every day," a woman from Exeter, N.H., wrote. "Back in the late '70s or early '80s you could say things and do things to make the customer's day and your day a bit better. But not now.
"One day as a game, I smiled and made a comment to everyone driving a car with a Connecticut plate. In four hours, only two drivers responded and smiled back. All the rest of them gave me a blank stare.
"I could go on for pages about how the American public treats the people who "serve" them. But I am just going to point out a few incidents that happen day after day, hour after hour: Hundreds of greetings go by without a glance from the motorist. Bills are slipped out a window that is only down two inches. People give you nasty remarks because you don't know mile by mile directions to Pittsburgh, Pa. Then the people behind that person
Respect, a smile, a polite greeting, a word of thanks, a little kindness - that's what we're all looking forslap money in your hand and scream about making dates on your own time because you took 60 seconds to give directions.
"Of course there are hundreds of nice people that we deal with, too: The truck driver who smiles every day, no matter what. The man who brings you coffee or a cold drink. The people who are polite and appreciate your help. The lady who writes a note thanking the toll people for helping her parents one night in a storm. These are people who make the day worthwhile."
Respect, a smile, a polite greeting, a word of thanks, a little kindness - that's what we're all looking for, that's what we all need, and that's what we all need to give if this world is to be a gentler place.
